Kayla Harrison on defeat PFL megafights and finding peace with herself،
Two-time PFL champion Kayla Harrison returns to competition for the first time in a year on Friday, when she meets Aspen Ladd in a non-title bout at the PFL Championships in Washington (ESPN+ PPV, 5 p.m. ET).
It’s been a quiet and unusual year for Harrison (15-1). She suffered the first defeat of her career last November against Larissa Pacheco in the 2022 PFL lightweight final. She remained out of competition throughout 2023, waiting for the PFL to attempt to book a fight against the women’s pioneer of MMA Cris Cyborg, the featherweight champion of Bellator MMA. That potential fight fell through in May, when Cyborg turned down an offer from the PFL and signed a multi-fight deal to stay with Bellator.
However, with the PFL announcing the long-rumored acquisition of Bellator on Monday, the chance of a Harrison vs. Cyborg matchup is back on the table.
Harrison’s career has been full of teases of a mega-fight. Cyborg felt close on several occasions, and there was hope that Harrison would face UFC two-weight champion Amanda Nunes at some point. But Nunes, a former teammate of Harrison’s, chose to retire in July.
Ahead of her first fight of 2023, Harrison reflects on the challenges of sitting on a loss for so long and how she dealt with the disappointment of still missing the big fight. – Brett Okamoto
You have to question yourself after a defeat. You have to look in the mirror, and there are really two paths you can take. You can blame everyone and everything except yourself, or you can look inward and realize that when you enter the cage and they close the door, everything that happens is up to you.
For me, I realized that the main reason I lost my last fight was the way I lived my life outside of the cage. I was overwhelmed, exhausted and empowered. This fight was 2-2 going into the fifth round, and Larissa dug deeper than me. The reason she was able to do that was because I was completely exhausted. And I was exhausted because I was fighting things outside the cage that I shouldn’t have been doing. Drama and chaos took up the majority of my life. It was one storm after another.
The common denominator in all this drama was me. You can only blame external things for so long before you realize, “Hey, idiot, you want this to be your life? Do you want your life to be one obstacle after another? Or do you want to sit down, buckle up and make things better? “I am the authority in my life and I have a choice in how I live. I wanted to make a change.
Now my life is peaceful. My life has a lot of joy and support. I went through a phase where I was worried about this change because I’ve always been very successful as a survivor. So it was like, “OK, if I’m not self-sufficient and I’m not in a storm every day, am I still going to be killer as a fighter?”
“The main reason I lost my last fight was the way I lived my life outside the cage. I was overwhelmed, exhausted and empowered.”
Kayla Harrison
I’m very grateful because I realized that yes, I had been very successful for a long time, but it was all driven by fear. It was, “I have to be the best. I have to win a gold medal. I have to get straight A’s. I have to be perfect because if they see the real me, they will see someone who is not unlovable and worthless.” I don’t feel that way now. And coming from this place of peace makes me even more dangerous. I know that regardless of the results that happen in the cage, who I am as a person cannot be made fun of.
I’m in the zone right now with my preparations and have been trying to stay away from things I can’t control. I think there was a contract dispute with my original opponent, Julia Budd, and I got a call from my manager, Ali Abdelaziz, and he said, “How about we fight Aspen Ladd instead? And I literally told him, “Ali, if you don’t make me fight on November 24, I’ll fight you.” A day later we had a new opponent.
I didn’t pay attention to the Bellator rumors at all. I have no interest in them and what that means for any particular fight. We were talking about the Cyborg match long before my first professional fight. I’m so done with this. I moved on. I passed him. If it comes to fruition, I will be ready. If not, I focus on me. I think there is still a path to greatness for me that doesn’t involve him. There are a lot of opportunities for me. I will no longer be stuck in this frustration over whether or not this fight will happen.
Cyborg has done some remarkable things in the sport, and I don’t think she’s had an easy journey, so I respect that about her. But I don’t believe her anymore. I no longer buy what she sells, so she can sell it elsewhere. She’s not “ready to fight anyone.” None of that matters anymore. Make sense – why this fight still hasn’t happened. She says one thing and does another, and I’m tired of talking about it.
None of this adds up, it doesn’t matter. If that’s what she wants to do, if that’s what she wants to be, then fine. You know, she doesn’t need me. It’s the truth. She’s done enough. But I don’t think I need her either.
I haven’t spoken to Amanda since she retired. No match. I respect these limits. I respect his choices. It’s his right to retire, and there are no hard feelings. I have no ill will, and for the record, I never have. I always look at her and admire everything she did and the way she did it. I think she’s the best ever and I’m happy for her. I am happy that she has a beautiful family. There is only love here. But hey, if you ever want to fight me, of course, I’m up for it!
There’s an overall statement I want to make with this fight on Friday, and I don’t always plan for it. Everyone thinks I plan my post-fight messages, but that’s not the case. For this one, though, I want there to be a message of resilience. Man, life is hard, you know? Whether you’re a fighter, a single mom, someone battling cancer, or just lost your job, life is hard. I want people to know that everything will be okay.
If you surround yourself with the right people, believe in yourself and do the work, everything will work out as planned. I believe this deep within myself. Oh, and I’m not finished! I still have a lot to say and a lot to prove. Everyone will still witness it: I am who I say I am.
